When the present is stillborn, we look towards the future for hope and inspiration. I have been thinking about it recently - my future, career prospects, quality of life, ways to earn a living, and other related issues. How do I wish to define my life? What will the story of my life be? Can I marry my ideals to reality?

Traditional conventions suggest that success is a lonely endeavour. To break into the pinnacle of any field or discipline, we must first be willing participants in the sacrifice ritual of our previous conceptions of fun and entertainment, which we have been conditioned to have since young. Perhaps it might be true to say that the average have varied modes of entertainment whereas the exceptional only have one - which is the very thing that they aspire to achieve greatness in. This is also the villain/witch/dragon they must slay to arrive at hero-hood and hence eviscerate that niggling expiry date that is tagged to each and every one of our personal narratives.

Closer to reality, these musings translate to a host of different concerns. If the equation of success involves the function of solitude (to have the time for mastery over a particular discipline), are we then postponing the realisation of dreams for our goal-driven friends when we “coerce” (peer pressure and constant badgering can be considered so) them into joining social events?

All too often, many of us would have tried to guilt-trip or tempt a friend into joining us for a “legen-wait for it-dary time!” or an “once-in-a-lifetime adventure!”. Is doing so an actual projection of our definition of fun onto others? Should this be considered kind or selfish?

As I muse about this reality-distorting perception, my mind started to introduce some balance into this one-sided debate. Thus far, the concept of success introduced to us (Singaporeans especially, but also applies to the majority of our species) is determined by results.

If, through hardwork, perseverance and grit, one manages to earn respectable sums of income or reach a socially-admirable stature or gain widespread, positive recognition, then one is considered to have “succeeded”. Yet, if one should put in equivalent amounts of hardwork, perseverance and grit and achieve nothing worthy of society’s attention, one is then considered to have “failed”. As you can see, this is what I call an “outcome-dominant” model of thinking, and it is what most of us have been programmed to use. A rather stressful - fatalistic even - “hit-or-miss” mindset, one might say.

A less popular but perhaps also less myopic model of thinking with regards to “success” will be the “process-dominant” model. The collective “wastages” of our lives (well, I believe that time we enjoy wasting is time well spent!) can be perceived as building blocks towards eventual, superficial success. Failures are, after all, the pain in life that reminds us that we are still alive and that we are still improving. Of course, the boundary between self-delusion and self-encouragement is separated by the finest of lines. Thread carefully; thread softly.

Finally, “success” can also be defined by other less-conventional matrices. Wealth is but the lowest denomination of “success” that is agreed upon by society at large. Higher denominations of “success” are judged by concepts such as happiness, quality of living, achievement of dreams, and other less tangible rubrics.

In life, there are many different kinds of marathons we can run in. The ones trailing in the marathon where we find the general masses participating - well, these people could be the ones who have learnt to run their own race, at their own pace.

So yes, success is indeed lonesome - but only if you choose to play the “rich man’s game”.

“Success”, for me, will be when I come closer into realising the motto of my alma mater. I may not have in mind a field where I aspire to be a force of change in yet, but I trust that as long as I continue to exercise my passion and my will for excellence in the things I believe in, the goal is achievable.

Auspicium Melioris Aevi - “The Hope of a Better Age”.

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